I Am Mother, Hear Me Roar

We’ve all heard stories of mothers doing crazy things to protect their children, and while I’ve never had to lift a car off of anybody – knock on wood – I will say that I have that same boundless and (at times) catty drive to protect my young, though they aren’t so young anymore.

This is typically how it works…

Someone says my kids aren’t perfect, I say who is?

Someone says they don’t always use the best language, I say they learned it from their fucking father.

I Am Mother, Hear Me Roar | TheFurFiles

Someone says they shouldn’t be climbing the neighbour’s fence to take a short cut to the bus, I say, Jesus Christ, again? I’ll talk to them.

All kidding aside, it doesn’t matter their age, a mother is a mother forever, and my claws WILL come out if someone criticizes, questions, or otherwise bad-mouths any one of them. I count this as a good thing. It’s my job. If I don’t stick up for them – right or wrong – who’s going to?

I think it just goes to show that we have bonded, that the body-altering nature of their time inside my womb, and the subsequent excruciating pain of their individual evacuations – my daughter’s being by far the most bloody and brutal – and the many, many, MANY long nights of taking care of them, and all the stress, and all the dishes and laundry that I’ve done to clean up after them, has really left its mark on me.

Continue reading “I Am Mother, Hear Me Roar”

What It’s Like Being “Super” Canadian

My kids sometimes make comments about people, saying they are “super” Canadian.

“See so-and-so. He’s ‘super’ Canadian,” they’ll say.

“What exactly does that mean?” I ask. I figure that since WE are Canadian, we might fall into that category as well.What It's Like Being "Super" Canadian

“Really nice. Too nice. Family and community-oriented. Not hard-core enough. Pathetic at times.”

“Is that how you see yourself?” I’m wondering. It seems like a reasonable question to ask.

“That’s another thing – Canadians care.” It’s my daughter talking. “They want to know how people ‘feel’ about things. And you’ve just proven my point. Sometimes, you just shouldn’t give a shit. See, when I said, ‘Canadians can be kind of pathetic,’ you should’ve just shrugged your shoulders and gone and watched five episodes of Strike Back, picking food out of your teeth with a knife, and farting loudly every now and again.”

“Your father DOES watch that dumb show, and he farts loudly sometimes, but who would be stupid enough to pick food out of their teeth with a knife? If the fact that I care about things, makes me ‘super’ Canadian, than I guess I am. You are too, except when it comes to cleaning up after yourself,” I laugh.

“Ha, ha, ha. You’re funny – not.” My daughter walks out of the room, leaving a banana peel on the counter.

“Hey, I’m not your maid,” I say, picking it up and putting it in the compost bin. Things like that don’t go in the garbage. What? I’m trying to save the planet in every small way I can.

One things for sure, up here in the “Great White North”, we are nothing like Rihanna in her music video “Pour It Up”. I don’t even think Drake or Justin Bieber would go that far. Robin Thicke might, but he’s an anomaly.

Truly Canadian piece of advice: money will never be that important.

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