Nobody Wants Advice

It’s cold outside these days. Damn cold. So cold that walking to the bus or waiting for the train – without gloves or a hat – can be problematic.

But there’s my twenty-year-old son, running out the door with barely a coat on, no boots. To him, winter is only a suggestion. The minus-thirty-degree temperatures are NOT real, until he comes back and says that he nearly froze to death getting to school. “What did I tell you? You should’ve dressed warmer.” I say this hoping that next time he’ll remember. He doesn’t.

It makes me think, does giving advice even work? Most people just do what they feel like doing anyway, doesn’t matter what anyone else says. Sometimes, they get frostbite. For my son, it may take his hands turning black for him to remember to wear gloves.Nobody Wants Advice | TheFurFiles

Of course, as a parent, there are times when I’m going to put my foot down. There are times when I’m going to say my peace goddammit, when I’m going to bloody well tell those rambunctious and sometimes space cadet children to stop throwing the exercise ball around in the living room, that they are going to break something (else).

Continue reading “Nobody Wants Advice”

Hey Kids, God Has A Message For You…

Hey Kids, God Has A Message For You... | TheFurFiles

And God said,

“Children, listen to your mother, or I’ll give her permission to…

Post a picture of YOU wearing HER underpants when you were two on YOUR Facebook wall. Guaranteed, all of your 1543 friends will think it’s frickin’ adorable.

Never give you another birthday present for as long as you live, not even a gently-used glass eye.

Take that “me so horny, me love you long time” t-shirt that you love so much and give it to your father to dry his body with AFTER he showers – his WHOLE body, if you know what I mean. Once the t-shirt’s dry again (but probably not washed), she’ll give it back. You won’t even know it was gone.

Play so many cat videos on your laptop at once that it crashes, and it takes the guys at Apple a good two weeks to fix it.

Steal your iPhone, take a picture of you while you are sleeping – hopefully naked… your father says you do that now – and send it in a private message on Facebook to that girl/guy you like so much. Why not get this relationship jump started?

Yes, Facebook really IS a great revenge too. I’m so glad I made someone think of it.”

It’s just been that kind of day already, and it’s only 10:30 a.m. Kids. [frown]

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